Last month my husband and I dropped into the newly-opened Fountain Valley, California store in search of an end table and possibly even an entertainment center for our family room. After looking around and trying out a few of the cozy seating groups, we finally decided to purchase a beautiful dark wood and bamboo table from the Riviera collection. We liked a couple of the John Elway entertainment centers as well, but weren't in any particular hurry and weren't even certain if they were in our budget, since none of them had any prices on them.

Our salesperson, Michelle, wrote up our order for the end table and told us it would be 2-4 weeks for delivery. We thought that was a long time to wait for an end table, so we inquired as to why. Michelle explained that our end table was a special order and that it was going to be custom made for us at the Bassett factory in Virginia. Custom made? Wow! We didn't even know anyone custom made anything anymore. I mean, I sew custom-made costumes for my kids and I know how long that takes, so waiting 2-4 weeks for a custom made end table didn't seem like such a long time after all. We probably would have waited 6-8 weeks ...or longer!

Luckily for us, our custom made table arrived at the Fountain Valley store just two and a half weeks later. We were really eager to pick it up to see what it looked like, it being custom made and all. When we got to the store, we went directly to the warehouse to get our custom made table. There were no employees in the area, so we decided to have a look around and get an advanced preview of our custom made table. Oddly, there were no items of furniture that even vaguely resembled the one we purchased, although there were a few unopened cartons leaning against a desk. Certainly our custom made table wasn't in one of those old cartons!

Unable to locate either our table or anyone to assist us, we drove around to the front of the store and went to the customer service desk. After introducing ourselves to the girl behind the counter, our order was promptly printed out and handed to the warehouse employee, Bobby. Bobby agreed to meet us at the warehouse dock to load our custom made table into our car. We drove around to the warehouse and found Bobby standing outside holding one of the big cartons we saw earlier. My husband noticed, as Bobby loaded our custom made table into our car, that the carton had the words, "Made in China" printed on it. "I thought this table was custom made for us in Virginia," my husband remarked. "Oh, it was. We just get some of our hardware from China, so it's kind of a collaboration, you might say," Bobby promptly replied.

My husband is a pretty sharp guy, so during the entire ride home, he wouldn't shut up about our custom made table coming all the way from China. Not only was that implausible, he thought, but it wasn't what we were told by Michelle. I felt terrible and wished we had rejected the table or cancelled the order, (even though Bassett's "Special Order" policy does not allow either), and finally asked my husband to be quiet before he made me cry. He promised to, but he kept mumbling under his breath about what kind of hardware would be on an end table anyway.

When we got our custom made table home, we discovered that one of the corners on the box was squished. This created even MORE discourse, which quickly evaporated when we realized that, much to my relief and inspite of the rough condition of the carton, our custom made table appeared to be rather well-made. However, when we flipped our custom made table over to screw in the legs, (yes, some assembly was required on our custom made table), we discovered another surprise - another "Made in China" sticker right on the bottom of the table top. This made my husband furious and, as he ranted and raved and threatened to put our custom made table back in the box and return it, I reminded him that, because it was a special order and "custom made" especially for us in the Bassett factory in Virginia (China), we couldn't return it! So, we screwed the legs on, flipped the table over and ... SNAP! The corner block that holds one of our custom made table's legs split right along with the edge of the table.

Needless to say, at this point my husband didn't care about Bassett's cancellation, exchange, repair, refuse, refund, replace, resale, rebate, recycle or any other policy, for that matter. He just wanted to get that table the hell out of our house. He immediately got on the phone and called the Fountain Valley Bassett store to explain that, not only was our custom made table NOT, but that it was crap. They advised that, surprise, surprise, they could not accept our "custom made" table as a return but that they would be happy to order a new table top for us to be shipped out in 2-4 weeks. My husband advised that he would be happy to call American Express, dispute the charge on our card for their shoddy craftsmanship and leave this sorry excuse for furniture at their back door. He followed up with an e-mail to the corporate office detailing our concerns.

I called American Express and disputed the Bassett charge. The American Express customer service representative advised me to pack the table up and ship it back to the store via Fed Ex or some other method that provides a tracking service. We packaged the table, prepared a shipment on the UPS web site and dropped it off at our local UPS store. Our defective "custome made" table was delivered to the Fountain Valley Bassett store the next day and signed for by one "Eubanks". A few days later, we got this e-mail:

Per the store manager we will make an exception to our "No Return" Policy for this one instance. Please return the table to the Fountain Valley location and the refund will be issued to your American Express card.

Really? You will make an exception "for this one instance"? Gee, Bassett, thanks for going out of your way and accepting the return of a misrepresented, shoddily-made piece of crap. And thanks for making me feel like a first grader. That's customer service at its most excellent! Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I have a domain name to buy! Cheers!